Just because I can doesn't mean I should

“Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is helpful. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be brought under the control of anything. 1 Cor. 6:12

I don't have an official record or anything to be certain, but I'm pretty sure that I say, "Yes," way more often than I say, "No." My kids might disagree, but that's only because they have no other point of reference. Here's how it usually goes down:

*Teenage child on a school night: "Hey mom, can Nick spend the night? We're not doing anything tomorrow." Me: "Okay."
*Teenage child on another school night: "Can we go to the midnight premier of The Hunger Games?" Me: "You're not gonna dress up like one of the characters, are you?"  Teenage child: "Mom, have you seen my muscles? (flexes) Just look at 'em. They're so big no one would ever mistake me for any of the hungry kids in that movie." Me: "That's a good point. Sure, make sure you get your homework done. It's fine with me."
*Teenage child: "I love you so much, mom. Can we go to Chick-fil-A for dinner?" Me: (sigh)  "I guess so."
*Teenage child gives me a hug: "Hey, I was wondering if some people could come over tonight after the game to watch a movie." Me: "mmmhmmm. How many people?" Teenage child: "Not that many. Probably like 15 or so." Me: (picks up phone and statuses something witty) Teenage child: "Soooo, can I?" Me: "I'm sorry, what did you ask? Oh yeah, sure. I don't care. Ask your dad."

It's not that I don't say, "No." I'm quite the diligent parent, rarely letting a teachable moment of any sort pass without words. But in some ways, I'm permissive, too. I just don't want to be a parent who says, "No," without a reason. And aside from the time Brandon asked if a friend could sleep over the night before he took the ACT, the times Abby has asked for an iPhone (she's 13), and the time when she was a toddler and demanded the moon be on her side of the car during every after-dark excursion, my kids typically don't ask for ridiculous things. So it's easy to say, "Yes."

There's a danger in permissiveness, though. Paul wrote about that in the last part of 1 Cor. 6:12 and the verses that follow: it can control us. That's why I'm very careful to explain the no's.

*"I'm sorry the moon isn't on your side. Why are you crying? Don't you want Brandon to get to see the moon through his window every now and then? No? Okay, well the moon will be on your side in about 3 minutes when we turn on another street." (rolls eyes to no one in particular)
*"No, you can't have an iPhone. Do you have the money to buy it? Do you also have $35/month to pay for the media plan that comes with it? Come talk to me when that happens and we'll see."
*"No, Jeramy can't spend the night. you have to take the ACT tomorrow. And because you even asked that question makes me think you're not going to do so great on that test."

Sure, I could say, "Yes," even to those ridiculous requests, but that wouldn't be very beneficial to anyone. It would take us forever to drive home, for one thing. But the bigger problem is that when everything is a yes, we find ourselves under yes's control. If we never say, "No," then, "Yes," becomes our god.

The believers in Corinth enjoyed their freedom in Christ, like they (and we) should. But they forgot the point of that freedom, and they took advantage of it. They had become so driven by, "Yes," that they were even willing to defend it. Paul answered their, "Everything is permissible for me," justification by pointing out that just because we can do something, doesn't mean we should. Freedom in Christ does not exist so that we serve and glorify ourselves; it exists for us to serve and glorify God. That's a truth that should make us stop and think.

Just because you can watch that show doesn't mean you should. Just because you can let your kid play on that team doesn't mean it's the best choice for your family. Just because you can change churches doesn't mean that's the best course of action. Just because you can buy that thing you want doesn't mean it's the best way to spend your money. The list goes on and on.

Christians in America are not very different than the believers at Corinth. We must ask ourselves: are we really following God if our decisions neglect His eternal purposes and glory? Permissiveness without God's direction is not beneficial for anyone. We don't have to look any farther than our checkbooks and our calendars to know that it's true. Maybe it's time we start saying, "No."

What, "Yes," is controlling you?