Blog in My Eye: I'm an Idiot, but I Made a Video Anyway

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

2 Cor. 4:7

I have a new found respect for people who make videos.

Sometime yesterday, I decided to make a one for the PINK event we're having for girls at our church this weekend. I wanted to end the first session with a music video - How Deep the Father's Love for Us. But I couldn't find a video of it that I liked on youtube, so I thought to myself, "Hey, how hard could it be?" So I cut myself a piece of chocolate cake and sat down at the computer to give it a go.

Weeellll, turns out, I'm an idiot for even thinking that question in my head. It's way hard. Especially when you don't bother to save your project during the process. Because you might have worked on the video for 2 1/2 hours when the program hits a snag and just shuts down with no warning. Gone. I think you'd be proud of me, though. I didn't throw anything or yell or even think more than one or two bad thoughts. I calmly walked away from the computer and spoke pleasantries to my family members, got another piece of chocolate cake, and then returned to start over about 10 minutes later. It's hard to lose your cool when those kinds of lyrics have been consuming your entire being for hours.

Part of the deal is that I'm a perfectionist. Even when the computer doesn't force me to start over, I'll choose to redo hours of work just to fix one little imperfection. It's a problem, I know. I'll admit, I want people to think, "Hey, good job, Cynthia!"

I read something on Jon Acuff's blog in December that has not left me alone. He wrote, "Focus on efforts, not results. You should measure the efforts you put toward finishing something, instead of what happens when you do finish." Sure, it sounds simple, but I'm pretty sure I have that backwards most of the time and that's why I find myself stressing for days before I speak. I don't want to stumble at any point. I want people to laugh at all the right times. I want people to walk away challenged and encouraged...and different.

But what God keeps reminding me over and over again is that I don't need to focus on the outcome; that's His job. In whatever we do in service to the Lord, the result isn't ours to determine. It's His. We're just called to obey Him - to love people and trust Jesus. If I'll focus on being obedient, and let Him guide my preparation in every way, striving to do my very best with the gifts that God has given me, then I can relax and know that He's gonna do with those efforts far greater things than I could ever even know to ask or imagine.

I had a great time this past weekend, and God continues to blow me away in how He moved and is continuing to move among the students at FBC Edna. One girl said, "I don't know what you said, but God used you to speak to me." I love that! Truth is, I don't need to know. I don't know what He's going to do in the lives of the girls at PINK this weekend, but I'm certain He's going to do something. So I'm gonna get back to it now. Catch you guys next week:) Until then,

Be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the Lord’s work, knowing that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

1 Cor. 15:58